Spiderman black cat dating

Socially, however, he was painfully shy and the target of much cruelty by his peers at Midtown High School.

Attending a public science exhibit when Peter was 15-years old, he was bitten on the hand by a radioactive spider accidentally irradiated by a particle beam, empowering Peter with the arachnid's proportional strength and agility, and the ability to cling to almost any surface.

I mean, I got dispatched the way Sylvester the cat does when he chases Tweety. This is unfortunate for you because you are her father! TOBEY'S APARTMENT TOBEY tries to sleep, but that BLACK OOZE that we forgot about from the first ten minutes of the movie decides to make an appearance. He combs his hair down, so that the audience knows when he's in EMO TOBEY mode. He does throw a bomb at the significantly-more-evil JAMES FRANCO, though, so that's kind of EVIL. CGI TOBEY MAGUIRE Right, I'll have you down in a minute! JAMES discovers that superheating THOMAS turns him into breakable glass, but he doesn't use that to defeat him. THOMAS HADEN CHURCH Rather than turn back into the monster and resume wreaking havoc, I'm just going to give up and morph into a human for no good reason until the fight is over. Now that Thomas has just given up entirely, we can both focus on Topher.

It is also unfortunate for me, aspiring photographer and all-around douchebag, because I am dating her! New costume ready, CGI TOBEY finds THOMAS HADEN CHURCH and kicks his sandy ass. EMO TOBEY MAGUIRE I'm going to take Bryce Dallas Howard to the jazz club where Kirsten works now and make her jealous. KIRSTEN DUNST No, I need your help understanding how the bad guys even knew to abduct me this time. You take the enormous, invulnerable monster that cannot be killed or stopped.

D agent, Black Widow, to battle a new threat from history: an assassin known as the Winter Soldier.

But being Captain America comes at a price as he attempts to take down a war monger and a terrorist organization.

A BIG BLACK BALL OF OOZE shoots down from the sky, conveniently landing mere feet from the only guy on the planet with the superpowers of a spider. THOMAS HADEN CHURCH Er, why the hell isn't my daughter's locket sand too? TOBEY throws one of JAMES'S PUMPKIN BOMBS back at JAMES. TOBEY MAGUIRE I've got to go save the only girl in the movie more irritating than you. No less than THIRTY FUCKING MINUTES into the movie, TOBEY finally dons his costume and we actually see the title character. DOWNTOWN BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD dangles from a ledge as a crane destroys large sections of an office building, presumably killing many people. It's amazing how often people in this city wind up dangling from something, given that it's kind of the only thing Tobey is really good for. The bomb explodes, completely vaporizing TOPHER and his SUIT. KIRSTEN DUNST (crying) *sniff*, I really wanted another singing sequence. (dies) AUDIENCE Twenty minutes of a stupid-looking, nerdy Venom... (crying) Why, why, why couldn't this movie have been any good?

It explodes in JAMES'S FACE and has absolutely no effect whatsoever except to distract him long enough for TOBEY to trip him off his board with a spider web. Didn't those bombs fucking VAPORIZE people in the first movie? Do you remember anything, like maybe about us being arch-rivals? CGI TOBEY MAGUIRE Fear not, the man with the body of a superhero and the voice of a 12-year-old boy is here! CGI TOBEY MAGUIRE Then why the fuck are you the villain for this movie? CGI TOBEY MAGUIRE Wow, that's like the worst weakness in comic book history. TOBEY throws one of JAMES'S PUMPKIN BOMBS at TOPHER. JAMES FRANCO (squinting and crying) What is this, an episode of Dr.

(At around 56 mins) when Spider-man finds he has only been in the Damage Control vault for 37 minutes, he flips off the container & lands away from it.

CGI TOBEY rescues BRYCE as enormous slabs of concrete fall and smash the people on the ground. Call one of the other hundreds of Marvel superheroes that live in New York City. TOBEY and KIRSTEN bore us with some more relationship problems. KIRSTEN DUNST Plus I'm also pissed that Bryce kissed you. TOBEY visits the police station to get away from KIRSTEN. POLICE STATION JAMES CROMWELL talks to TOBEY and ROSEMARY. ROSEMARY HARRIS I don't understand - you knew about this when he was in prison, why didn't you tell us then? Petty relationship squabbles are what people want to see now. TOPHER GRACE So I think we should team up to kill Tobey. So the plan is, I'll act like my nerdy, sarcastic character from That 70's Show, and when Tobey is distracted thinking how shameful it is to bring an iconic character like Venom to the screen like that, I'll hit him with a cinder block.

KIRSTEN DUNST I'm so sick of never having any time with you. TOBEY MAGUIRE Wait a minute, at the end of the last film, you begged me to get into a relationship with you, knowing full well that I'm Spider-Man and that I have responsibilities beyond just being a boyfriend. JAMES CROMWELL So, yeah, it turns out that the guy you thought killed your uncle wasn't the guy. KIRSTEN DUNST sings for the SECOND FUCKING TIME in the movie, and TOBEY launches into the THIRD DANCE SEQUENCE in order to make KIRSTEN jealous. THOMAS HADEN CHURCH Yeah, killing people is awesome. THOMAS HADEN CHURCH It's good, but there needs to be more dangling.

Did all of that exposition sound natural, or totally forced? Besides, I've saved you from certain death at least a dozen times. BRYCE DALLAS HOWARD Are you sure you wouldn't rather doing something interesting, like fight the villain? How does Topher even know who I am, let alone that I'm dating Spider-Man? JAMES FRANCO (squinting) Nah, I came because I wanted to be in the credits above the guy from Wings.

JAMES CROMWELL Meh, as bad as it was, it was still better than the writing on my season of 24. Didn't this scene start by showing me in mortal peril? CGI TOBEY MAGUIRE Sorry, I only rescue people if they're dangling. I've earned the right to be the meat in a stripper sandwich if I want. EMO TOBEY MAGUIRE Nah, people had enough interesting action sequences in the last two movies. TOBEY tries to rescue KIRSTEN, but THOMAS turns into a giant glob of dirt and TOPHER uses his powers of irritating comic relief.

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