Am i dating the wrong guy
"Here are five reasons why we go for the same guy, the wrong guy, over and over again: History has a way of repeating itself.
Researchers believe that in order to categorize the type of partner you are seeking, you first have to evaluate the type of partner you’ve sought out previously (Gollwitzer and Sheeran).
What you can change are own thoughts and behaviors.
Changing a behavior is a conscious decision made by you, and you alone.
If you find yourself thinking about making a change, you might find this exercise, proposed by Barbara De Angelis, Ph D, revealing. Second, list each partner’s negative qualities next to his name.
Third, circle any words and/or qualities that are consistent between partners. This summary list may provide some insight into the type of person you attract and to whom you are attracted.
Researchers have found that when mate selections are assessed in a state of cool rationality, our preferences are often different than those in the heat of the moment (Eastwick and Finkel).
While "loyal" and "reliable" are mate-worthy qualities, in the heat of the moment, we often opt for exciting and unpredictable.
We have the potential to stop ourselves from experiencing déjà vu. In reality, he will only change if it is his choice – not for you or because of you.
You like the potential of what he could be, rather than the reality of what he is. You’re dating ‘beneath’ yourself so that you think that you can control him and the direction of the relationship. He finds it difficult to make basic efforts such as calling and showing up when he says that he will.
I'm not in a position to comment anything else till then.
When deciding to enter a dating relationship, we tend to focus on positive feelings about the partner, while often failing to disregard or acknowledge warning signs or red flags as to why this relationship won’t work (Murray, Holmes and Griffin).
Researchers have demonstrated that people are unrealistically optimistic about the success of their plans after they decide to engage in a particular course of action (Taylor and Gollwitzer).